Symptoms of this condition include:
- bruised ribs (possibly from elbow jabs in an effort to procure more covers)
- Whacks in the head with a pillow
- Modest tug of the covers often accompanied by a garbled sort of grunt or in rare cases profanity occurs. If the latter occurs generally the affected party rarely remembers or denies comments or use of profanity.
- Complaints from your spouse of being cold
- Being very warm when you wake up
- Feeling like a mummy, with the covers all bunched
- Numb hands from keeping a firm grip on the covers
I know of no known cure for this affliction, but it becomes more severe in the midst of winters.
A cure that has worked for me when I catch myself in the acute stages is to remove myself from the mummified cover state and gently place the covers on my spouse under the guise of snuggling. This is most effective when accompanied by a gentle kiss, stroke of the hair, or a three to five minutes back scratch. The most effective method for me is the latter method, and it generally admonishes me from being labeled the cover hog.
I am working through this condition, and have been trying to be a better cover sharer instead of a hogger, but as with most things, it takes time and patience of the spouse. Effective communication is a key to overcoming this condition, but just in case you suffer from this syndrome, some of my methods have been proven to work, at least for me.
If you suffer from ACHS, you are not alone.
--gfo
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