On Kids and Sports

My kids are at an age now where they are starting to play competitive sports. The girl softball, the boy, soccer and baseball. I have coached my daughters softball team when it was at the intramural level, meaning the girls played against other teams, but no official score book was kept, albeit one was kept to track lineups, etc. I liked coaching at that level, the girls, (7-8-9 years old) were a lot of fun, and were very receptive to my coaching.

My beef even when coaching at that level is some of the parents, and as the kids get older, it seems to getting worse. My paramount complaint is the parents who insist on coaching their kids from the sidelines. I find this only confuses the kids, and disrupts the flow of the game. I told my girls when I coached, that when you are on the field, you are to listen to me, and the other coaches only. Its hard sometimes, especially when the girls were as young as they were. I told the parents the same thing, and asked them nicely to respect what I am doing. I emphasized to the parents that I was always open to suggestions, criticisms, and feedback, but only after games or practices. Most of the parents were very supportive and were great to work with.

My daughter moved up this past year to a traveling league, where the games counted, and things were a little more serious. I was no longer a coach (although there were a few times, that I was asked to be a base coach when one of the other coaches were unavailable) but a parent. The coach of her team was very knowledgable and worked well with the girls, of course he played favorites, and his two daughters had little or no respect for the other players, parents, or coaches. I attended most of her practices and games, and when I did I sat quietly and observed. Of course during the games I cheered just as loud as other parents, but I never jeered.

My rule of thumb is/was always, when I coach, I coach, when I am a parent, I parent and let the coaches coach. I wish other parents would follow this simple rule. There is nothing more annoying than seeing other parents yelling out instructions to their or other kids, and the coaches are telling them to do something else. More often than not, the kids end up with a blank stare on their face, dazed and confused. If there was something that my daughter did that I thought she could do better, I always waited until we got home, or we practiced it later. I always encouraged her to do her best, and that her mom and I would be proud of her no matter how she or the team did. My bottom line was that I wanted her to have fun, and learn the value of working with and being part of a team.

Recently we were at my son's soccer game and one of the parents, who happened to be one of the coaches wife, started yelling at the official, (who was only about 12 years old). I was mortified. Yelling at officials is totally uncalled, especially young kids who are just learning. It took all my self control not to tell this lady to sit down and be quiet. As a parent I was embarassed.

Sports can teach us many things, and competition is good, but the life's lessons such as teamwork, dedication, and hardwork are much more important. The principal reason for kids sports is that the kids have fun whilst participating in a sport. If the kids aren't having fun then what is the point.

Let the kids be kids.

--gfo